Dads Under Construction by Neil Campbell

Author:Neil Campbell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dundurn

FAMILY FIRST

My father lay motionless in his bed, in a fetal position, as if asleep. I held his hand and touched his face. He died the way he wanted to: in his bed, at home, surrounded by family. He was in his ninetieth year.

My father was born in a family farmhouse on the kitchen table. The next-door neighbour came from several miles away by horse and buggy to be the midwife. My grandfather and uncle waited on the veranda outside, doing what they could to help out.

My father’s family moved only once, and that was when he was a young boy. They moved several farms over. Everybody in the community knew each other, and they often met weekly, either in the town market or at church. The families were very supportive of each other and worked quite hard, especially through the difficult period of the Depression.

Living and working on the farm meant that what you planted, you then harvested and, for the most part, consumed. The family worked together in the fields and saw the fruits of their labours. At that time, few in my father’s community actually worked away from the farm. However, with the Depression, it was necessary for my father to seek employment elsewhere. He worked for the railway as a telegrapher, coming home on the weekends. This added income helped to support his family.

My father met my mother at one of the stations where he was working. They eventually married and moved into the city. They had three children: my two sisters and me.

City life was quite different for my father. He had to adapt quickly. He brought with him the value of hard work and, like his family of origin, he chose to move only once with our family. When I was a small boy we moved down the street. My father actually turned down promotions with the railway so that he could remain local, commuting back and forth to his place of employment so that his family did not have to move.

I remember many events that we engaged in as a family. Yearly, we would go to the beach. On a number of occasions, we took family vacations travelling across Canada. When my younger sister or I worked in other parts of the country, my parents would often come to visit. My father in particular made a point of trying to understand situations that my sister and I were experiencing and living in, and helped us out in any way he could.

With the opportunities available to my sister and I, and increased leisure activity in general in society, we have experienced more flexibility and distractions to do other things than my father did. However, my father felt it important to keep his roots and remain constant. As he entered retirement, he and my mother moved into a condominium unit. It was built on the same spot where they had lived in an apartment years before when they were first married. It was as if he had come full circle.

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